I looked at the people around me - young people, mostly teenagers, a few young children, some older people. We were all there for the same thing - it was the end of June and Troja, a Kosovar heavy metal-band was performing on stage.

It was pouring down and I was surprised at the amount of people that had shown up despite the bad weather. Normally it is very hot this time of year. This year was an exception - the sky has been dominated by clouds for weeks. Earlier that night, we had driven from the capital of Prishtina to the Germia Park in the outskirts of the city where the concert would take place. The band very rarely gave concerts, mostly for financial reasons.

We parked the car in a designated parking area - really a grassy field that had become a field of mud - and hoped that there would still be tickets left. Last minute decisions are a way of life in Kosovo and this was just one of them. At the entrance, a young man approached us and offered us some leftover tickets for free.

Troja was founded in 1990 in Prishtina by Bujar Berisha (vocals), Florent Bajrami (guitar), Violand Shabani (drums) and Agron Ejupi (bass), and released their first album

My friends happily translated some of the Albanian lyrics. The band’s signature song ”Amaneti i Clown-it” was understood among my friends as a clear jab at local politicians. There are some men gone over the edge who have cost me dearly. Their lies are sending me in a place where I can’t find myself. And how many more years will pass by enduring all these men that have taken all my strength away? Can politics change the will to move and live? What is done wrong? Is there any solution? In which end does one start?

I thought about my Swedish passport lying at home in my Prishtina apartment. I thought about all the things I could enjoy thanks to that passport. The crowd sang along. Who are these people that have brainwashed me? Who are these people that alone I can’t stop them? I would like something to change with these people who have blocked the sunshine. What it is like to live with the sunshine blocked? Standing together under the umbrella, my friend said to me: ”You are born with your passport. And with our passport, one can not do a lot…” Who’s making the effort to help the people of Kosovo unblock the sunshine?

Pride is a key word around here. People can have their freedom and possessions taken away but what can never be taken away from them is their pride. No matter how many issues Kosovo might have, their Albanian pride stands strong. This pride might lead to a free and stable Kosovo one day. And depending on how one sees it, only Kosovar themselves can change their world and circumstances. Being critical is probably the first and most important step, no matter if one is a Kosovar, an international deployed here with an NGO or a citizen of another country.

It was still raining after the concert. It was 2 am and I was driving back to the city with my two friends. We listened to traditional Albanian music on the radio and the city was gorgeous in the lights of the night. People I knew in Sweden had chosen to go to the French Riviera or Southeast Asia for holiday. I had ended up in Kosovo, far away from the war zone it once was. I made the right choice. People are young here too and they have the same dreams as the rest of us.

I stopped for a second on the short walk from my car to my house with the umbrella folded up. I felt the Albanian rain on my skin, happy and proud to be here and share every single little step this little nation takes.